It’s Not Your Fault – Or Is It?
Responsibility Versus Blame
Here's a story about a missing word that has created a perspective shift for me, and I want you to pay very close attention to it.
I wrote my email newsletter, announcing the latest podcast guest Clarissa Wilson.
With the help of my coach (yes, I have a coach too), I went through and made a few edits, wrote more copy, adjusted the spacing, reworked sentences. I emailed myself a copy, read trough it, and decided I liked it.
I assigned my subscriber list to receive the email, and I hit send.
Hooray! It's always a great feeling when the email goes out.
I received this message from one of my members:
"Hi Christine! I just received your email, and I noticed a typo. Or is it a typo?"
(yes, she goes by WonderWoman in my contact list. She says it makes her feel good when she opens her email!)
My initial reaction was PURE PANIC!
"Oh no! I meant to say, it's NOT your fault."
But then I paused, thought about, and responded.
It actually is your fault! Not from an area of BLAME, but from an area of RESPONSIBILITY.
If you're not sleeping, and you know you should be...and you're not seeking guidance from a professional who can help you...and you're not implementing action steps to solve the problem...then it is your fault for not taking responsibility for this problem that affects every area of your life!
If you are choosing to do NOTHING for yourself, then yes, it is your fault.
On the other hand, it is very hard to find the root cause of disturbed sleep. So if the journey to finding the answer is long, and you're taking the action steps, working with your professional, changing your diet, exercising, and taking the other therapeutic measures that have been recommended, then I want to reassure you that you're not to blame for this condition.
We have to work together to find the balance for you, and while the steps may be simple, they are not easy. They require looking at your physical body, health, spiritual body, mental state, habits, etc. And changing all of those is very, very difficult.
There is a very real difference between RESPONSIBILITY and BLAME. I'm certainly NOT blaming anyone for not sleeping well.
I am saying that if there is a problem and you do nothing for yourself, then you have to accept responsibility for the situation you're finding yourself in.
And isn't that the first step to healing? - Acceptance and then asking for help.
I replied to WonderWoman with those very words.
She thanked me and agreed. And she booked her appointment with me to heal her years of sleep disturbance!