Emotions and Sleep
Recently I discussed how events can keep us awake and today I want to talk about how our emotions and our feelings can keep us from sleeping. Personally, I am going through a roller coaster at the moment as well. I have my court date to finalize my divorce in two weeks; so I am going through it right now...
The emotions that are usually keeping my clients awake (and from personal experience) are anger, disappointment, heartbreak, too much joy and excitement. Very often, those emotions are negative ones and they happen because of someone treating you unfairly, being unkind to you or just mean. You do have people, who are just total dicks and by misjudging people, you get disappointed.
Here are 3 things I recommend you try to do, when your emotions are keeping you up at night:
1) Be Gentle with yourself
This is the most important one: Be gentle with yourself and do not look immediately for the fault in you, as we tend to immediately ask ourselves, "Okay, where did I go wrong? Why did I misjudge this person so much? How could I be so stupid? Why did I answer this in this way?" This inner monologue, especially if someone made a comment and you're like, "Ah, I should've said this or I should've reacted like this." You have this inner movie in your head. All of these things are very harsh judgments on ourselves and we need to learn not to look at ourselves at fault. As I said before, there are some people who are just idiots and they're mean and just stupid. It's not always about us. Actually, very often it isn't, so it's really about being kind to yourself!
2) Remove emotional hooks
Imagine, when someone is mean to you that they are throwing an emotional hook towards you, and whether you are spiritual and believe in chakras or not, you can feel it. You can feel the hook landing in your stomach and it is painful, it tugs at you! Some people are more sensitive to it than others and we don't remove them. The hooks stay there. Some of us have thousands of these hooks still in place from years and years ago.
To free yourself from these hooks, you can visualize that hook, tie it to the person who wronged you and you visualize removing it and sending it to a place of love. Whether you believe in a deity or in the universe, it doesn't matter. All you do is you release it from you and let it go.
Here's the thing. The person who threw that hook is not feeling better because they hurt you. The opposite. They also feel horrible to some extent. There are only a few people who are total sociopaths and don't feel anything; but any normal person is not going to feel better from lashing out. So send it to a place of love that you've liberated for them and even sending them a little peace of mind, is going to help you, which leads me to number three.
Now here's a really important thing: forgiveness is not to the benefit of others which sounds weird. It's not about them being forgiven, it's about you finding peace. Is this selfish? Sure, but you need to be. Letting them go and finding peace: It's the best feeling ever!
Be kind to yourself, let go of the hooks by a visualization of removing them, and really forgiving them, so that you can find peace.
Ideally take some time during the day where you process this. You can do it in the car while you're driving. You can talk aloud. You can catch up with a friend who knows you, who doesn't judge you, who doesn't necessarily even judge the situation that you were in; but stays objective, knows you well and can guide you in that or just listens. Do not do it before you go to bed, because it's going to wake the inner turmoil.
As always, I hope this has been helpful. I wish you a wonderful week and for a change, I'll be writing to you from San Diego next week and in April you’ll hear from me from New York.
Let me know what you would like me to talk about. Check out all my previous topics and if there is something I haven't covered yet, please let me know. Maybe there is a topic you want to know more about! Just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Have a wonderful day and I will talk to you very, very soon.
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