It’s just not working between us
What is your relationship with your sleep?? Let’s talk about it…
I love to talk about sleep as if were a person. Very often when I work with my clients, they've had such a strenuous relationship with sleep for a very long time, that you can really compare it to an old couple. There are a many miscommunications and it's just a really frustrating relationship. Both sides have expectations, but it's just not quite jiving.
So, what's happening with you and your sleep? If sleep were a person, it would have different expectations from you. It would think why aren't you preparing yourself for myself? Why are you doing so many different things to your body, that make it so hard for me to come and serve you? In the end sleep is a friend. It's something/ someone that loves you so much and it's here to
and it wants to do all of that. Sometimes it just has a hard time, because our lifestyle is making it hard for it. On the other side there’s you. You are so frustrated with sleep, because it's supposed to be easy!! It's supposed to help you, but it's just not happening. Every night, you're getting so frustrated with it and it's a cause of anxiety. You know tonight is going to suck!
‘I'm going to be in my bed again, I won't be able to sleep and I'm going to have my mind playing tricks on me. It's going to be super hard and I'm gonna be super tired the next day…. Why on earth is this not happening?’
Both parties have that tension, that on the rocks relationship and usually it's my job to really look at why that miscommunication is happening. What can we do in order to make it harmonious again? There are different things. You can help your body get ready for sleep, by making sure
All of that is going to help you sleep and then sleep can just relax and do its job. Also, your mind is starting to forgive and is not seeing sleep as your enemy, but as your helper.
‘I know you want to help me. I know you are my friend. I know that you want to do the best thing you can. I'm just struggling right now, but I'm doing my best and I want to welcome you. You're not the enemy. You’re not something I dislike!’
Imagine if sleep was a person. You would basically tell it to fuck off all the time!!! You would just tell it to go and take a hike, because you don't welcome it. It's just this awful thing that you hate every night. How welcome would you feel?!? So, this relationship is just messed up sometimes. But once you understand and rediscover sleep as your ally; something that is beautiful and wonderful and that can help you on so many levels, you can start to prepare for it. You can say:
“I actually really love you. I really do, and I know that things are not great right now, but we're both going to figure it out.”
That's when things start to relax again and when you can take the different steps towards having that amazing relationship again with your sleep. Try to come to it from place of love, rather than anxiety, anger, stress and even hate at times. I have so many clients, who tell me “I hate my sleep. I hate nighttime. It's the worst time of day, because I already know it's going to ruin the next morning.” I really believe it helps to change that perception, that whole motivation, that emotion around it.
Sleep is your lover. Sleep is your friend. Sleep is your ally. It loves you dearly. It's struggling right now. It feels unloved a lot of times and you feel like it left you hanging…
So, there are many things you can do; but changing that mindset right away; going from this angry place to a ‘I get it, I understand, let's do this together place’, is the first step!
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